From Script to Screen: OGR

Comments

  1. OGR 21/01/2016

    Morning Hannah,

    Okay - well, I've got some thoughts for you to chew over. Right now, I think you're only using one of your story components; the ladder; everything else; The Deep Sea fisherman, the railway station, are irrelevant. How do I know, because there is nothing about the character of the fisherman in your story in which his fisherman-ness is important or pivotal to his behaviour or his story, and the fact that it happens in a railway station is also irrelevant, because it could just as well be happening in any kind of environment. Remember, the challenge of this unit is to derive an original story 'from' your components - not slot your components into a story.

    Something to get you thinking a little more creatively:

    What happens if your Deep Sea Fisherman falls overboard and discovers a world beneath the sea - including an underwater coral bed 'railway station' - from where whales depart, carrying smaller sea creatures on their backs? Perhaps the ladder becomes the way in which the fisherman gets back to the surface. It could be a story about how a Deep Sea Fisherman decides to stop fishing because he learns about the life below the waves? I think you could think more fantastically about the way in which your 3 components can be combined? This is a story idea for animation, after all; I can think of a number of nice examples of these sorts of stories when a human character is transported into another world: take a look at these for some inspiration - and encouragement to think in a less real world way:

    http://ucarochester-cgartsandanimation.blogspot.co.uk/2015/12/caa-one-day-sea-is-blue.html
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UJjdI0xKD0
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghnLUapHA9E

    It does seem odd to have a character like a deep sea fisherman and not use his relationship with the sea as an active element within your story; re. the railway station, if you thing about that environment, it's a place of exits and entrances, of hellos and goodbyes; if you think too of big railway stations, they're all about journeys and making changes, or exploring new territories, and ladders - well they're a means of escape, or return - 'getting back to the surface' for example.

    Your current story is indeed a story about boy meets girl, but I'd argue it has very little to do with the story components you picked. Discuss!

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